Yesterday a Berks County resident walked into a local retail establishment and stole a whole ton of bowling balls. Well, 11% of a ton.
Apparently, he went on a shooting spree soon after. He was last seen rolling bowling balls down dark alleys. On one occasion, he knocked over two boys on pogo sticks. Their injuries were minor. Local authorities have given him the name Rolling Rock.
He was last seen in Boulder, tossing the bowling balls down the aisle, of a Whole Foods grocery store and then proceeded over to the farmers market.
23 potatoes and eight heads of cauliflower were lost in the Carnage.
He had planned to take them home on the airplane, but the baggage fees were higher than the value of the bowling balls. He said it was an impulse thing and he probably won’t do it again or at least plan better.
He then went into a retirement home in Loveland and gave a bowling ball to about a dozen residents . He told them they were lifetime achievement awards.
He slipped into the night and hasn’t been seen since.
The Side Effects of Endorphins 
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