Good At Bad Things

Holy shit I am really good at interviews. I can quote the perfect responses to the most imperfect questions and while I am telling them I believe them from the bottom of my heart.  I can speak in symphonic sentences that pretty much get to the point I am trying to prove. 

Can you give me an example of when you were given a task, and it was doomed to fail yet you performed miracles worth taking to a job interview in the not too distant future.

I can tell a story back to the prospective employer that will knock their socks off. It is a rather awkward part of the interview when one’s socks are blown off yet we persevere and move on to the next question.

And they eventually get around to their question of the day. It is a question where I lie using an error of omission.

What do you consider your biggest weakness? the man occasionally glancing at his watch asks while hinting this interview is drawing to a close.

I repressed the urge to respond, “No disrespect, I know my resume is impressive, and I have an advanced degree from a highly respected school, the bottom line I really abhor capitalism.”

Yet I come up with a biblical story of sorts about how my disorganization is simply creativity in disguise and I morph into a story that miraculously proves my point. If I am asked technical questions there is no reason to panic. I know my way around the technical questions. At least that part of the interview is intersting.

And then the person on the other side of the desk asks, “I see here that you claim to be a maker of delicious soups.”

At this point I knew I had them on the ropes. Under other skills, on my resume it reads. “Maker of Delicious Soups”

I knew they were interested and read my resume more than once.

Sometimes we as people overthink simple things and yes excel at things we don’t really like. I am really great at interviews and this worked against me for the most part. I landed many jobs, and eventually did not like the corporate money making thing.

If you let it, Capitalism strips you of who you are. Did you ever have those dreams when you are inappropriately naked in a situation that is vaguely familar? This takes us back to the job interview where for the most part we were acting.

Or you like to play the Corporate game. And there are many who do.

I recently, two years ago, was out for a four mile run and received a phone call as I hit the half mile mark. It was an interview with a firm I had spoken to briefly. They stated their selling points and I did the same. I received a job offer over the phone at mile four.

I have that job currenly. I do that part of the job I enjoy. I write computer code.

Select “I am writing this computer line of code, count()
From dual
Where “the goal is to maximize share holder wealth”
Group by those who care

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