The Side Effects of Endorphins

I was out running in the woods on a beautiful fall day. I felt like I was gliding on air and then suddenly I realized somebody was chasing me. It was Bigfoot. He was friendly, but he kept chasing me.

Bigfoot was easily distracted when he ran into the Loch Ness monster swimming around Timothy Lake. They looked at each other like they were soulmates.

Bigfoot and Nessie went to the closest Starbucks and the barista misspelled Bigfoot’s name (pig foot) , hoping Bigfoot would post it on social media.

But then I ran into this guy looking for spare change. He told me he used to work as an actor faking lunar landings. He was a bit of a space cadet. I gave him some bit coin and he bought a bottle of milk and some oreos. He reasoned milk built stronger bones.

He thanked me and told me he was going for a swim.

I told him to please wait half an hour because one should not go in the water after eating.

I went home and put on an old Beatles record, and I played it backwards. It was unbelievable but it purely said Abe Vagoda is dead. I crossed my fingers and hoped this wasn’t true.

Then I stepped on a crack on the sidewalk and my mother was back. She reprimanded me for wearing white pants after Labor Day. I gave her a big hug and said it is nice to see you.

Dark clouds formed in the western sky. My mother told me she had to get back to her bowling match, that’s how she had always explained thunder to us. The storm did pass us by as it fell off the end of the Earth.

I sat on a picnic bench. I was once again joined by Bigfoot. He told me, Kamala Harris won the last election.