The Side Effects of Endorphins

If your pet could talk, what would be the first thing it says?

Luna : hey Dad, we need to talk.

Me : you’ve been hinting at this where did you learn to talk?

Luna : you know that Duolingo thing. I logged onto your computer at night.

Me : most people who are on Duolingo can’t even say a sentence after six months.

Luna : ich verstehe nur Banhoff.

Me : you seem to know more than how to get to the train station.

Luna :Kann ich mir das Auto ausleihen?

Me: no you can’t borrow the car

Luna : arf arf arf arf arf arf arf grrrrrrrr

Me: that’s only the mailman

Luna : is he neutered?

My wife ;who are you talking to?

Luna : meeee

Luna goes back to her old ways and gives me a tilted head and stares at me straight in the eyes

Me :Möchtest du spazieren gehen?

I put on her leash, grab some poop bags then we head out the door on a perfect fall afternoon.

Introducing Everett Crowly, a crow who visits often.

Everett : when did your dog learn to talk?

Me : when did you learn to talk?

I’m not sure if Everett spoke those words or I just know what he’s saying. I don’t hear a word from Luna the entire walk. I wonder if I imagined it, as she is back to using her nose.

I get back home, and we are greeted by the cat.

Bobo – wrong food like me die Seafood medley.

Me – Ich Weiß

By now I’m thoroughly confused on which animals know which language and go back to reading my book to Luna. The cats aren’t much interested. I break open a bottle of Guinness and Luna gives me the tilt head.

Plague Dogs – I read this book to the kids many years ago. The dogs in this book are Snitter and Rowf. Richard Adams, the author of Watership Down, creates a lyrical and engrossing tale, a remarkable journey into the hearts and minds of two canine heroes, Snitter and Rowf.