The Side Effects of Endorphins

Born at a Very Early Age

I would like to take some time out when announcing this award. I would like to thank my mother and father for taking time out of their convoluted marriage to spend a few minutes together and conceiving me.

I would especially like to give thanks to my mother for seeing this project through and being there at my birth. If it wasn’t for these two, I probably would’ve never known about roller derby or bowling.

Best Role Supporting actor

I would like to thank my stepfather who took over for my dad. Despite our obvious differences, we’ve had some great moments. Like that time we shoveled 16 inches of wet snow off the roof of my house in Seattle.

Leading Male in Long Running Series

My brother Rob he’s always there for me. We talk about stuff when things get difficult. He helped me develop my skills for breaking into swimming pools at night and my love for the song NightSwimming.

Lead Role of a Grumpy Old Man –

That’s my other brother, who who I always picked to be on my team no matter the sport we were playing. He was reliable and could use his left foot. But he did complain about it.

Hot Dot -life Time Achievement

Our Grandmother was a very special person. She brought home books for me, despite having the dirtiest oven in Pennsylvania. She was smart and funny and one of the most levelheaded people I know.

Our Kids -best performance by a non-jazz assemble.

They are simply amazing. We can stay at their house and feel at home despite me not putting lids correctly on mayonnaise jars. I would like to thank all three of those for their roles in our mountain expeditions and climbing into thin air.

Notes From Season Two

My stepmother is one of the kindest and most gentle people in my life. She’s made some bad decisions, including marrying my dad. But it all worked out in the end. She is still an integral part of my life. They had twin daughters who are simply Amazing. We serve as best friends and confidants.

Honey I Shrunk The Kids

I would like to thank all the little people out there who have started to take on important roles in our life. I don’t love being labeled as a grandfather because I’m not that old. If it wasn’t for some little spark in the Cosmos back many years ago, who knows how the story would’ve been written. I wrote this with a little tongue in cheek because that is our family, never taking ourselves too seriously, living with kindness and humility.