Getting Caught In The Rain

I was tired for my lady

We have been together for so long

Like a worn-out recording

Of a favorite song

I think we have all had this song accidentally stuck in our head while cruising the frozen food section of our local grocery store. Upon a casual listen, this song is catchy for a verse or two and it veers off toward annoying. You don’t want the song to last any longer as it may end up as an all-day ear worm. Usually, you have little interest in listening any further and nobody knows the complete story of The Pina Colada song. Don’t get me wrong it is a truly bad song, and the story is an enigmatic glimpse into the simple dynamics of relationships, sprinkled in with perplexing country music story telling.

For clarity’s sake, while not completely necessary it is okay to give names to the story told in the song. The names are never mentioned in the song. However, knowing Rupert as we do, having names gives the quizzical love story a touch of clarity.

We find Alyosha, also known as Allie, and Ustina out on a date in the once swanky section of Old Orchard Beach. OOB is a throwback town to many a childhood memory, with vintage seventies style beach houses, a living breathing boardwalk and the Ferris wheel that can be seen all over town. Allie was tired for his lady and the lugubrious, humid, salty air made him feel sluggish and lazy. Ustina wore a faded sun-bleached dress she had worn many times before. It was breezy and comfortable, and Al seemed to love a sundress. They had been together for a long time, and they seemed to be stuck in a rut, without the proper tools to work themselves out. They were both content, yet each knew there was more to this so-called life.

Their waiter approached the table, even though they were prepared to order at the counter. Ustina preferred to be served a proper meal at a proper table, so she was happy to engage with the wait staff. The Pizza Palace had a good old-fashioned juke box. It didn’t play actual records but rather one that was hooked up to a music service. They could play almost any song they wanted to hear. It was a curious juke box as it also served as a cigarette vending machine. One pull of a button, and Ustina suddenly had a brand-new pack of smokes. She could really use a cigarette right now and she told Al she was going out on the veranda out back to have herself a cigarette or two.

Al deposited a few quarters in the jukebox and played the music they had listened to many times before. Ustina heard it as she headed outdoors and was very surprised Al remembered it was their song. Oh, maybe he got lucky. He sat and listened and tried to remember if he ever actually liked the song.

Be-Da-Dop-Do

He was tired of that song especially, since he played it four times in a row.

“Hello there, may I interest you in a drink to get you started? I noticed your companion headed out into the elements.”

Al quickly replied that he would love to have another beer as Ustina seemed to change her mind. She sat back down and examined the menu for an unusually long time. She was usually quick and to the point. Today she sat and pondered her choices almost to the point of annoyance. As she pondered “I Would Walk 100 Miles” played on and on.

“I would really love a Pina Colada.” She answered back with a hint of flirtation.

“That’s not a drink that we carry here, but I will see what I can do.”

“My name is Rupert, Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. If we are being formal, I am Mr. Holmes.

They sat and watched sunburned people walk happily down the street. A few lightning bugs determinedly flickered and then gave up for the night. The movement of the people in the streets became noticeably more erratic as a slight rain started to fall. Thunder echoed across the ocean and heat lightning flashed across the sky.

Ustina sat in her little weird world smoking a cigarette as the evening air got steamy. The previous lightning strikes had now been reduced to meandering heat flashes. The roar of the ocean blended seamlessly into the night. The smoke from the cigarette rose precariously through her long red flowing hair. She was on vacation, and what had become a much-needed break. She loves to walk in the rain and the Pina Colada hit perfectly. For the most part, she wasn’t much into yoga, yet it left her feeling confident and relaxed. Having practiced a few hours previous, she was nimble and free of spirit. Her mind and body where in perfect unison. The cigarette was her own little secret.

As Ustina sat smoking, Alie scanned the local newspaper for anything interesting. Right behind the New York Times crossword puzzle, was a list for personal ads. In a beach town the ads are somewhat different than in other small towns. The randomness posted in newspapers was of interest to him and today was more interesting than most. He read one slowly and with care. The ads spoke of a woman looking for a man but that was not exactly clear.

The ad simply stated that the person was looking for somebody who liked making love at midnight, they couldn’t be into yoga and needed to have half a brain. They should like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. He finished reading the ad as Ustina, dripping with rainwater, sloshed into the room. She looked refreshed and happy to see him once again. She gave him a furtive wink, then hitched up her dress a little and sat down next to him. They had previously been sitting across the table from each other.

“Hey, it is almost midnight, and I have better plans to end this evening. She winked once again, and his face glistened in anticipation.

“You realize it is raining pretty hard.” She responded as if he was stating the obvious and pointed out he should know she loves to walk in the rain. At this point, Rupert returned out of breath and placed two rum laden fruit drinks in front of them. Neither remembered ordering them. They sat and flirted playfully while enjoying their drinks. Frogs emitted deep rough sounds, thunder rumbled in the distance and the ocean filled out the perfect back drop. They barely noticed the music had ceased on the juke box. He reached into his pocket for a quarter and decided he liked this background far better. While enamored with each other both were entrenched in their own private world. Neither was quite sure what was happening, but the Pina Coladas were damn good.

“I never knew you liked Pina Coladas?” he said to her as they gracefully stepped out into the rain. The air was electric in a salty kind of way. A large raindrop slowly fell down the tip of Ustina’s nose and dropped into the puddle that stood between them. It wasn’t something one would notice unless you were focused on the subject you were looking at. Which Alyosha was, and he found her beauty sparkling tonight. It was that type of night. He kissed her ever so gently intending to savor the moment. They walked home quietly in the rain. A half-moon even made a brief appearance in the eastern sky above where he knew the ocean sat.

Thank you for remembering that I enjoy walking in the rain. To which, he had very little memory other than the fact she refused to ever buy an umbrella. That night, they stayed up later than they should have. This was okay as that was what vacations where for.

The next morning, they basked in the glow from the previous night and joked whether they had half a brain. There on the kitchen sat the ad he clipped from the paper, however he never remembered putting it there. He remembered the clipping thread bare and in far worse shape. This looked fresh and new and could have been a photocopy. Then he forgot about it and sliced himself a mango for breakfast.

He hadn’t seen Ustina for the last fifteen minutes or so. Their place wasn’t very large, so he assumed she had ducked into the shower. He heard a rumbling from the sunroom. Upon inspection there stood Ustina in the mid-morning light. She was still wearing the underwear from the previous night. She was sun drenched with beads of sweat congregating between her bronze shoulder blades. She was going through a deep stretching routine that left Alyosha at a loss for words. He remembered fondly her body from the night before. He was tongue tied and speechless.

He never knew she was into Yoga. There were always two-hour gaps in her schedule he never cared to account for. That was her time. There were no magical explanations, and to be stylistic, that was probably just his imagination running away from him. As she returned his glance, she said to him

I am not really into yoga.

It is like I am with you.

Sometimes I love you

so much it feels like

I have half a brain.

And there on the table sat the personal ad. She took the newspaper and immediately folded it over. She glanced at the flip side and started filling in the crossword puzzle. She filled it in, in pen.