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I Sat Next to a Serial Killer

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K Mark Schofer

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I Sat Next to a Serial Killer

What’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?

For now, I’m going to ignore the fact that I’m not great at learning languages. It is very difficult for me. But I’m going to circumvent that for today and talk about another skill. Full disclosure, I’m typing this using one finger on my cell phone.

Randy’s Typewriter

Typing Class 10th Grade

I was in 10th grade, I took a typing class. I believe it was the first class in the morning. There was a guy named Randy. who sat next to me and he would be typing away and fall asleep. He did this almost every day. I imagine he stayed out late. He was QWERTY that way.

I was pretty good at baseball. Baseball was a superpower I wanted to have. I ended up having a line drive hit me squarely in the head. That put me in the hospital for a while. Who knows, if it destroyed my baseball superpower. That is beside the point. I was in the hospital for a few weeks. I never could make up the work in the typing class. So I never really learned to type well.

My Resume

I was an excellent python programmer, excellent with databases but not a very good typist. Currently , I love to write stories, but I certainly don’t like to type.

Randy

I assume Randy went to all the classes. I imagine he got a diploma. Randy became a big-time drug dealer in the coal regions of Pennsylvania. He was involved in some execution style murder and is serving time in jail.

He probably spends a lot of time typing letters to his friends at 85 words per minute.

Well, I pawned my Smith Corona
And I went to meet my man
He hangs out down on Alvarado Street
By the Pioneer chicken stand –

Warren Zevon

As I was typing this story, I had to start googling around to see if the story was actually true. Yes I still can’t type.

And in case you are interested here is a link to the judges decision.

https://law.justia.com/cases/pennsylvania/superior-court/1990/401-pa-super-62-2.html

One response to “I Sat Next to a Serial Killer”

  1. vermavkv Avatar
    vermavkv

    This is such an engaging and wonderfully candid piece. I really enjoyed the way you blended humor, memory, and reflection—it feels effortless, yet carries a quiet depth beneath it.

    The contrast between you and Randy is especially striking. What begins as a light, almost amusing classroom memory slowly unfolds into something far more layered and unexpected. That shift gives the story a lingering impact.

I would love to hear you opinion as well

Hello,

I’m Mark

His friends observe Mark seems wired a little differently. Perhaps it’s more likely that noticing little things often missed by others is a relic of a quieter, simpler time. He has a way with words, which he refuses to let be hindered by sub-par typing skills. People have great stories to tell if you sit and listen.

A belief dear to Mark is that there is certain beauty in the world. You simply have to look for it.

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