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The Side Effects of Endorphins

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Open immediately

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K Mark Schofer

on

Open immediately

Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.

FINAL NOTICE: Extended Life SERVICE NOTIFICATION
Date: [march 10 2026]
Response Deadline: [3 Days from Date]
Subject: Important Information Regarding Your [Extended Life]

Dear life Owner,

Our records indicate that you have not contacted us regarding the extension of your life’s factory warranty coverage. This is our final attempt to reach you.

Your life’s manufacturer warranty may be expiring or may have already expired.

Once this happens, you will be solely responsible for any and all out-of-pocket expenses for repairs, including:

  • Memory failure
  • Eye glass repairs
  • Endocrine systems
  • Cardiovascular conditioning
  • Every single lightbulb with a lifetime warranty are your responsibility

Do not leave yourself unprotected against costly repairs. You still have time to activate your life service contract to ensure continued protection, but you must take action before it is too late

If Donald Trump wrecked the entire world. Please disregard this letter.

Regards

Dark eyed Junco

3 responses to “Open immediately”

  1. vermavkv Avatar
    vermavkv

    This is a wonderfully creative and witty piece. I love how you turn the serious subject of aging into a playful “extended warranty notice.” The idea of life having a factory warranty, with repairs for memory, eyesight, and the body’s systems, is both humorous and thought-provoking. It cleverly mirrors the kind of messages we receive about product warranties while reminding us of the realities of growing older.

  2. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    Aw, the Junco is sweet. And this so darkly funny.

  3. K Mark Schofer Avatar
    K Mark Schofer

    It funny how the creative process works. Sometimes the synapses work fin without endorphins. And as Stephanie pointed out this is dark, and weird enough,

    I am writing a short story right now where this same junco comes into play. I have been asked to write if for a publication that publishes in speculative fiction. It’s not a genre I know well. If you want to read it to see if it makes sense that would be cool.

I would love to hear you opinion as well

Hello,

I’m Mark

His friends observe Mark seems wired a little differently. Perhaps it’s more likely that noticing little things often missed by others is a relic of a quieter, simpler time. He has a way with words, which he refuses to let be hindered by sub-par typing skills. People have great stories to tell if you sit and listen.

A belief dear to Mark is that there is certain beauty in the world. You simply have to look for it.

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