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Odd Balls

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K Mark Schofer

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Odd Balls

What would you do if you won the lottery?

The first thing I would do is hire a lawyer. Not to figure out how to distribute the money because if I won, it would be akin to a virgin birth. I simply don’t play the lottery.

As the shepherds and Magi ascend to this little hamlet in Southwest Washington, being guided by the planet Saturn hovering in the western sky, I would slowly walk in the kitchen and ask my wife if she bought a lottery ticket.

“ yeah one of the parents bought me a ticket. I forgot where I put it.”

“ I think I saw it on the vanity in the bathroom”

Problem Solved

Since we’re dealing in fiction here, it seems like we won $301. I did a back of the envelope calculation.

MatchedPrizeOdds

6 White BallsJACKPOT1 in 6.99 Million

5 White Balls 1-in 27.1 Thousand

4 White Balls 1 in 516

3 White Balls 1 in 28.3

Old Joke (may be offensive)/

There was an old joke when the lottery went national when I lived in Washington DC, and it went a little bit like this. What has six balls and messes with minorities?

The Lottery (Tax The Rich)

Winning the lottery bank can go in many directions. We’ve offered stories of someone winning big and blowing it at all who rather quickly.

And there is this.

LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas — One lucky Arkansas lottery player has claimed the $1.8 billion Powerball jackpot from the Christmas Eve drawing. 

The winner, who is remaining anonymous, chose to receive the prize as a one-time cash payment. Before tax withholdings, the lump-sum amount was $834.9 million.

The winning Quick Pick ticket was sold at Murphy USA 7879, located at 208 S. Rockwood in Cabot, for the Dec. 24 drawing. This was only the second time that a Powerball jackpot was won in the state. The first time was in 2010. 

Can you imagine if we taxed billionaires at the same rate in this country? It would solve a lot of problems.

It should work like this.

Dateline Rochester New York

4 responses to “Odd Balls”

  1. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    Refreshing approach. 🙂 I’ve bought lottery tickets for others, but it’s not a thing I generally do. It’s such a strange thing that we link it to funding schools in various states like FL.

  2. vermavkv Avatar
    vermavkv

    What a delightfully witty and thoughtful reflection! I love how you blend humor, personal anecdotes, and real-life lottery stories into a narrative that’s both entertaining and reflective. Your mix of light-hearted imagination—like finding the ticket on the vanity—with real odds and news of the Arkansas winner keeps the piece engaging, grounded, and relatable. I especially appreciate the subtle social commentary woven in; it adds depth without weighing down the fun. Truly a clever, insightful, and enjoyable read!

  3. K Mark Schofer Avatar
    K Mark Schofer

    The entire concept of Florida is weird. Where I grew up in Pennsylvania many people moved there to retire.

    That demographic doesn’t care much about schools. I don’t play the lottery either.

  4. K Mark Schofer Avatar
    K Mark Schofer

    I was hoping the social commentary was a little more hidden than that.

    Only kidding as that was intended

I would love to hear you opinion as well

Hello,

I’m Mark

His friends observe Mark seems wired a little differently. Perhaps it’s more likely that noticing little things often missed by others is a relic of a quieter, simpler time. He has a way with words, which he refuses to let be hindered by sub-par typing skills. People have great stories to tell if you sit and listen.

A belief dear to Mark is that there is certain beauty in the world. You simply have to look for it.

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