The Side Effects of Endorphins

Do you trust your instincts?

No

It was late afternoon on a pristine Seattle Autumn day, I just got back from a run, and the kids were playing fire fighters. They were practicing putting out fires on the playhouse in the yard. You must love their imagination. Little did I know, how unprepared we were.

My wife was cooking mushrooms and must have turned up the heat far too fast. This resulted in a little bit of smoke coming from the frying pan. There was also vegan chicken Saten. We were making tacos for the kids. It seemed like a rather simple night.

The smoke from this dish, somehow set off the fire alarm. I did not even notice any smoke, but the fire alarm certainly did.

As did the dogs, who howled up a storm. As did the kids, who repeatedly asked to make it stop. Yes, we countered the loudness of the alarm with an even greater symphony of loud noise. Things were getting tense.

We did what came naturally. We opened the windows, letting the smoke escape. It was a little puff of smoke. This did not quiet the angry fire alarm. When you have two, hungry and cranky kids, and dogs who think a space alien just landed you do what you must do. My wife took the fire alarm to the upstairs bedroom. I know warm air rises as well as smoke, but this little bit of smoke was not going to find the angry fire alarm. We patted ourselves on the back and thought the problem solved.

By now, the kids started eating their tacos and the offending pan sat in the sink soaking. Then the dog, closest to the bedroom, renewed growling leading up to a symphonic bark. I thought, the mail carrier must be late today. And there was that irritating sound. It was the muffled sound of the smoke detector getting it on in the bedroom. There was no smoke to be found yet the detector continued to do its thing. The mushrooms were now comfortably nestled in their taco shells. The kids got more irritated and the dogs tried to bark the sound away.

Bedtime was now fast approaching, and chaos ricocheted out of control. I told our grandson I would like to throw that smoke detector over to the Puget sound. I got the most expected answer ever.

“Why”

That answer was the most logical thing I heard this entire night.

I may be getting the chain of events off a little bit here because I couldn’t figure out what was happening in real time.

My accomplice (wife) decided to take the smoke detector to the front porch. By now we were all a little punch drunk. There were stories to be read before lights out. Then she moved the detector to the spare bedroom.

My resume for earlier smoke detector issues read ‘I took out the battery’. I tried that tonight and modern-day smoke detectors are not built like that. The only possibility is this case is to deactivate the smoke detector. That sounded like a drastic measure for an issue involving mushrooms cooked possibly a few seconds too long. We were now doing the dishes including the pan that “burned” the mushrooms. We did get a text from our daughter suggesting that this smoke detector is a spot of bother. My wife moved the smoke detector out on the porch and still it persisted. The oldest asked me for the eight time, “why does the smoke detector keep going off.”

I honestly did not know.

Finally, we got the kids to bed. I expected some resistance, but they were tired.

Finally, we could relax.

Then the tell-tale bark hinted that the smoke detector was still alive. It went off again for no obvious reason other than I was too stubborn to read the directions. The dogs barked with renewed vigor again. Against the run of play the kids continued sleeping. My wife put the smoke detector in her pocket, where it slept through the night.

His first question in the morning was, “where the smoke detector is”. Who knew kids track things such as this.

I repeated I was going to throw it into the Puget Sound but then backpedaled as that would be sending the wrong message.

He knew that big body of water, but didn’t realize it had a name

Our little adventure in Seattle is over for now.  The kids woke up this morning now that their parents have returned from Hawaii. The first question they heard in the morning is.

Where is the smoke detector?